But in these weeks of the awakening Spring

Something within me has been freed-something

That in the past dark years unconscious lay,

Which rises now within me and commands
And gives my poor warm life into your hands

Who know not what I was that Yesterday

R M Rilke

The woman who loves by Rilke
The woman who loves by Rilke

My next work is going to be in oils which I don’t use so I bought some. Its characteristics emulate PJ whom this series is about, oils are luscious, strong, wet with many layers, refined, stable, crazy, durable, soft and hard at the same time.

Beautiful, elegant and extremely sensual with opacity and lucidity. Their texture is firm and smooth, pliable, rough and long lasting.

Hard to imagine a man with these qualities but there is 1. This series of 8*submerge into chaos – it will be wet on wet with charcoal, lead, gold and pastel oils. Four are finished-they are not sequential-like him they are omnifarious.

Foreplay with Death kicks FATE into action. FUCK me 28.09.2016 14.20

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Foreplay with Death kicks FATE drama into action. fuck me 28.09.2016 14.20

Why would you expect a big monster white jeep to push you through the air on a bright sunny day, well you wouldn’t would you, but it did.

‘Oh I am so sorry, I was listening to Joe Duffy and that poor man Foreplay with Death kicks later drama into action. FUCK me 28.09.2016 14.20and I didn’t see you’!  says the 85 year old white haired fresh and fit granny who exited her jeep quicker than a jackrabbit as she appeared in front of me.

Sure why would ‘YOU ‘matter to HER, your’re just another road user, stopped, indicators on getting ready to turn right.  The car is so small sure you’d hardly see it anyway. Monster trucks rule.

Get out of my way, I’m bigger than you.

It must be your fault for being there.

That’s it wrong place.

Oh God please don’t call the guards, please don’t go through the insurance, please I’ll pay for it.

Oh dear God my husband has cancer. He’s very ill with stomach cancer. I’ll be put off the road. I know a mechanic who will fix it. Please don’t call the guards oh this is awful. I’ll pay.

Meanwhile you are stumbling out of the car and fall to your knees.

I’m sorry I didn’t see you.

Are you ok? Who knows it was never asked. She like most humans are self interested and self serving: it’s the nature of the beast.

Only human after all.

A sentient being with all the anthropocentric self centredness to fill the earth.

She walks around to the front of the car, she is 85, 85 and rearing to go even do a runner if she got the chance. The car which is now veering towards the footpath, the bumper and lights, wires and glass on the ground-everything is hanging out like a gutted carp.

You can’t think straight,  feeling sick and light headed. You were calling to a doctor with the protruding vein on your right foot and arm and the constant cough.

Oh Christ you can’t take this. Leave me alone. Why Fates are you doing this!!

Tiredness fell around you, she said  look give me your number and I’ll get my mechanic to give an estimate and ring you ok.

Would you go to my mechanic? Please! He lives in Crosshaven he’s great he’ll do a good job.

Noooooo please would you just give me your number. My head is pounding now.

Why don’t you just kill me fate why keep me hanging in with this constant car crash life.

You call the AA.

That’s some bang you got there girl he says when he arrives 20 minutes later.

Mmm. I feel sick. Will you take me to my mechanic?

Did you get her insurance details and name?

‘No I can’t be bothered,’ you say ‘I’m too tired she’ll pay to have it fixed she gave me her mobile’.

Jesus girl you can’t be serious put in a claim you’d get 10 grand at least, she’s ruined the car and you, look at you- you’re really….if you don’t mind me saying looking very pale and you’re shivering.

‘Look please she’s a very old woman and I haven’t the energy for any of it, can we just go to my mechanics place and get a quote to fix her,’ she said

‘Suit yourself but you know yourself no good deed’ he said and drove off with me in the passenger seat and him still talking about you should have got her insurance, look at the car it’s destroyed.

She didn’t want to defend herself she just wanted to sleep.FOREVER

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