magnetised mind
magnetised mind

Pontos and Gaia (Gaea, the Earth) were parents of the ancient deities known as the Old Men of the Sea. By Thalassa, his watery female counterpart, he was the father of fish and other sea creatures. Poseidon, king of the sea, wed Pontos’ eldest granddaughter Amphitrite.

In Greco-Roman mosaics Pontos is depicted as a giant head with a watery-gray beard and crab-claw horns rising from the sea. However, in most mosaic art, Okeanos (Oceanus) supercedes him as the sea personified.

“Verily at first Khaos (Chaos, the Chasm) [Air] came to be, but next wide-bosomed Gaia (Gaea, Earth) . . . and dim Tartaros (the Pit) in the depth of the wide-pathed Earth, and Eros (Love), fairest among the deathless gods, who unnerves the limbs and overcomes the mind and wise counsels of all gods and all men within them. From Khaos (Chaos) came forth Erebos (Darkness) and black Nyx (Night); but of Nyx (Night) were born Aither (Aether, Light) and Hemera (Day), whom she conceived and bore from union in love with Erebos. And Gaia (Earth) first bore starry Ouranos (Uranus, Heaven), equal to herself, to cover her on every side, and to be an ever-sure abiding-place for the blessed gods. And she brought forth long Ourea (Mountains) . . . She bore also the fruitless deep with his raging swell, Pontos (Pontus, Sea), without sweet union of love.”

moore’s paradox

moores paradox

Believe that

P often

Not always

Asserts

P

Alternatively

Contradiction

The first

Step

To absurdity

Don’t

Assert

Enough

Or

Too much

What

It is

Raining

On

P

Cute

As a

Fox

Can we

Agree

Another

Paradox

God! He is so bloody beauty full

Art of the Missionary

Now she knows we are definitely on the road to nowhere

Let’s play the game Werner Forssmann

While the gossamer of time unwound itself, Mr Earnest did a controlled slit of her wrist. She felt nothing as it was numb.

Here was the man who scared her, from the minute she set eyes on his warm and welcoming smiling face it was trepidation all the way.

Nothing could disguise his intentions. Nothing could hide his erudition in whatever it was he did and he was going to do it to her.

She could sense he was coming for her body and something was going to happen to it, she knew not what.

He left a shadow long and everlasting but now:

the negative space in her brain is being filled. Now she is acquiescing voluntarily. Now she knows he is not the enemy.

Scene 1 act 2.

This is it.

Would you like some? A little relaxant?

No thanks.

ART CORK IRELANDART CORK IRELAND

Ancaeus’ attack on her was no mere coincidence it brought her back here to amend her apprehension and volatility.

Although nothing can be a simulacrum of what had been this is a rendition in a lower key

Her body lay there as a relief, her stomach palpitated and undulated finding comfort from the steel tools thrown on it by Mr Earnest.

Feeling nervous and tense.

The  past three days were not all for nothing where one man said this and another that. She said that and this. Steel in withdraw, test, result, blood, sweat, tears, pain.

 

He severed the artery, a hot gurgle sprouted forth a warmth on her palm.

A wave of his fingers.

Isn’t life all signifiers and symbols she thought?

Secret and open, direct and indirect speech acts, like the hand of God guiding this vermiform through to her heart.

Looking at a beating heart while simultaneously probing it, searching for tell tale signs of corrosion.

Her favourite mental motif now exposed here on an xray.

 

Not as sensorious as the imagined original solid fixed kiss planted to open the flow was.

Now there was nothing.

Pellucid covers clear his way forward and prevent radiation.

Confidence talks in silence.

Or maybe attention is critical.

She listened to silence it removed her from hells landscape.

 

This mortal portal goes on expedition with the magical hands of knowledge.

No voices.

Then: you are going to feel a warm sensation.

Slightly edgy then softly a flow of warm baby bath tepid liquid ran from her wrist and swirled around her torso. A pressure on her bladder like an oil drill striking liquid gold concentrated her mind.

She didn’t move.

The hollowed wire filled with mordant fluid scurried off to find the light and dark. Soothing like a deep cleanse she waited. Ticking and clicking sounds. Movement above her an orb descends and retracts.

Foreboding or sinister it was not.

Then she asked him………

Inserted With a Fluid Fixed Kiss

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ζKeres  Death Carousel
Swings and woundabouts hearts slave to life
Death cruel saviour drips venom filled tears with
question marks
lying in wait,

knocking blindly at the armature wire,

filled with turgid fillers,

stuffed to the gills
where no one can investigate
congealed  encased opiates of pain,

a chasm bubbles
sloe burning  on the branch

when know 1 came

and ate
pHAnASIApHAnTASIApHAnASIApHAnASIA

Crucifying Climax PK CAT-ROOM sometime 11.11.2016 i loved him instantly

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Crucifying Climax PK CAT-ROOM sometime 11.11.2016

Inserted with a Fluid Fixed Kiss

A light switch is flicked, her eyes open she gasps with release from that unknown place. La petite morte the French call it.

She felt a rush of warm heightened fuzzy feelings through her veins. The after affect.

She wants to turn over and back to the apogee.

Wrap the duvet and sleep deeply from this dream.

‘Its ok’ she heard a voice whispering close to her left ear ‘you fainted’

‘Who is that’ sickly fear was back, the dream was over and the relief vanished.

 

She is boomeranged back to the meleé and to whatever was going on.

Back to the future, the light, the white room, the blue people, Mr Earnest, her corporeality.

Now an amorphous phantom Mr Earnest was tense looking.

 

Ahhhhhh my leg, my leg she screamed silently. She felt she was imposing with this intermittent cry out. An electrical current torpedoes down her limb.

The pain Oh God she was muted by pain.

An orgasmic leg he must be good.

‘What is she saying’? said Mr Earnest.

The mask again it shuts her down.

Damn she can’t talk or be heard.

She turn to Mr Earnest and looks at his adrenaline filled pools of blue.

His pupils pin points in the event horizon shudder.

 

Now of its own volition the leg levitates she is in agony.

capturing meShe tries to force it down but the brain and body are not talking, then she glances down at her foot and with all her strength wills it back, Christ nothing.

She feels like an impostor in a strange room  in a room full of strangers in a room full of dread.

Someone is standing at the end of her bed.

They slowly ease her leg back to where it came from.

She wanted to cry to get up to leave she loves him why-how.

Desperate to move herself away from this fuss she is stuck and immovable.

Getting from where she was to where she has ended up was a fugue moment.

Mr Earnest stepped back; she couldn’t comprehend this moment or any of the previous ones.

She was wheeled into another room away from the bizarre.

Brown eyes appears, he is talking to her she is answering feeling amnesic, forlorn, frightened.

What Happened!

I love him.

 

 

 

Tumescent Terminus PTCA PK et al 11.11.2016 11.11

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Tumescent Terminus PTCA PK et al 11.11.2016 11.11

Ambulance doors open.

She’s arrived.

Somewhere.

Expectancy heightens everyone senses.

With no dissent she is lowered down from the ambulance put on a stretcher and wheeled down a corridor.

‘You’re ok’ said the ambulance man pushing fast.

A face appears above hers, eyes brown and intense he’s  telling her she needs to sign a form, a disclaimer in case she bleeds to death, has a stroke, a h……..her mind which had been compliant and silent is now in overload: too much assiduity and action.

‘I am not signing’ she thinks

What is he on about?

She hates being centre of attention and

Tumescentmostly she hates surprises and drama. Why is he making all these statements ?

Wheels turning the roof and walls appear glassy with the movement. He walks backward and quickly beside her.

She doesn’t understand; please sign the form he says again.

Quizzically she stares at him; his soft eyes dominate with a pleading #DoIt.

He propped a board up with paper on it for her to sign.

Her arm stretches out, this is strange until now she had no awareness of herself or her body, even writing her name was phantom like. Is she writing her name? If not-

Who is doing it?

The wheels turn faster and faster she lies there. No thinking. Nothing. Silence. Peace.

Brown eyes turns to look at her sage like and pushes open doors they swing back.

A blue welcoming party stand in front of her.

JESUS

What the FUCK is going on?

Her face spreads with fear. She is scared.

The blue welcoming party surround someone wearing a white hat, a white smile in a white room, dressed in green his smile not betraying anything other than his delight to see her.

Who?

What is he saying?

Beaming salutations of her name he moves torward her?

How does he know her name? Christ! No! Don’t

He is so earnest have we met.

FEAR

The mask inhibits.

zero body –zero mind.

‘We are going to move you over’, voices and faces say, it was all a blur.

Arms shuffled her from one stretcher to another. She lay malleable and frozen and why wouldn’t her mouth work? The mask inhibitor.

She is being strangled.

Everything is as clear as daylight so bright and intense she is dazzled to death.

Nothing is making sense.

Stop making sense.

She was trapped and as with any trapped animal – instinct is to lay docile until you get a chance to run.

‘Have you eaten’ said earnest man.

Her answer didn’t seem to come from her.

Slice of bread.

Am I conscious? She wonders.

RUN

Was she dreaming?

Nothing was said about anything.

Trying to hide it with his kind way earnest man’s eyes  now took on look of fervency and execution their eyes met and eclipsed with urgency.

She knows that look, however in this scenario it was not pleasure but pain.

She feels so nervous talk to me tell me what is happening to me.

Explain.

Silence.

She wants to go home.

I want you to hold onto this bar with your hand.

She gripped the cold steel bar tightly as if her life depended on it.

The curtains pulled: tight

radioheadthomyorke

A heart that’s full up like a landfill

A job that slowly kills you

Bruises that won’t heal

You look so tired, unhappy

Bring down the government

They don’t, they don’t speak for us

I’ll take a quiet life

A handshake of carbon monoxide

With no alarms and no surprises

No alarms and no surprises

No alarms and no surprises

Silent, silent

I don’t want to be your friend

I just want to be your lover

No matter how it ends

No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards

And I’ll do mine

Forget about your house of cards

And I’ll do mine

Fall off the table

Get swept under

Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse

Voltage spikes

Throw your keys in the bowl

Kiss your husband goodnight

Forget about your house of cards

And I’ll do mine

Succumb Time emc AOD 10.30 11.11.2016

The Seirenes are coming

Dead! Dying. What is my mind on about, she thought.

That’s what is happening : it’s curtains, get it together and take action. It made no sense dying from what? When? How? Why?

The journey to the Dr’s was an intense overriding of bodily attention versus mind control: the mind won.ART CORK IRELAND

Calmly driving into the parking area in front of the doctor’s surgery, no spaces, only a handicapped spot.

Damn it. What now ‘would you just park there’ the mind said.

‘God my car will be towed they better make it quick’.

Locking the car door she made her way to the surgery.

She pushed her way through the entrance, bent over with a prehensile hand on the banister she dragged herself to the top, through the doors: ‘Please’, she said ‘I need to see a doctor’.

Two women stared back at her one said

‘I’m afraid there is no one free until 11.30’.

‘Ok well I’ll have to wait here as I can’t go any further’ she said.

Feeling immolated she cowered and dragged herself to a chair. She felt sick.

There was nothing from the brain, the mind or the body. Silence. Sitting she slumped forward.

Tired.

Within a minute she heard: ‘Hi Siobhán follow me’.

Unsure if she could support herself she felt weak kneed, her eyes blurry she saw the Dr glance back, as if he half expected something. She followed. Would she make it?

Her back was killing her. The pain was intense and inexpressible.

Even then given a guess she’d have said some strong pain killers.

Sitting down her head bowed there was no energy to hold it up

‘Ok where is the pain’ he said.

‘In my back’.

‘Right’.

‘Would you hop up there and I’ll take a look’

Unsteady she hauled herself over to the examination table.

She lay down it felt good

Her head felt fuzzy and her eyes started to close she wanted to sleep.

She could feel a stethoscope on her chest and her head fell to the side.

Blood pressure was taken.

‘Can you tell me between 1 and 10 the pain you feel?’ a voice said.

Seven maybe 8.

Silence.

From then on death was hovering-

‘see body’ mind said.

How could you be and not be at the same time. Nothing was registering. She felt safe but otherworldly. Degree by degree nothing made sense why wasn’t anyone talking to her. Was she dead now. She felt ……………nothing……drifting……..away….. she was conflicted right there with the moving world. Glad.

He got up and made a call. It was in whispered tones and she couldn’t make a word out. Couldn’t have cared either way. Words wouldn’t come she was now struck deaf and dumb.

Open your mouth and chew this tablet now lift your tongue she felt a spray on it. And another spray.

He made another call.

A nurse appeared at her side she put the wires on her chest.

No conversation.

She felt so tired, for some reason there were no thoughts in her head and no questions to ask she didn’t have the energy or the brain power. The body lay there.

Was this an augury of what was to come?

‘ok Siobhán open your mouth and chew on these tablets’

‘open your mouth lift your tongue’

he sprayed water into her mouth.

Two men appeared some chit chat with the doctor-then they spoke to her.

With an out of body willingness she relented to their requests.

‘Now we are going to put this around you’,

A foil cape caressed her body

‘now just sit down here in the wheelchair’.

‘We are going to take you downstairs’.

You’re OK.http://www.theoi.com/Pontios/Seirenes.html

Even while this was going on all conceptual thoughts vanished. She has some temporary stress related locked in syndrome. Nothing showed up on the perceptual side of her brain, nothing in the logical.

Nothing or no one hinted at anything. The men seemed jovial even. ‘You’re ok, don’t worry’.

She couldn’t.

Why couldn’t she muster up a question? Talk. Say something. Ask! Jesus what’s wrong with me? Blank.

‘Don’t worry your in good hands’.

In the ambulance there wasn’t that a hint of anything? Being fed tablets, her blood pressure taken, spray is sprayed, rustling and wires, talk, questions, mask over her face all went quiet.

Confusion.

The siren’s song played.

What lay ahead she couldn’t imagine!

Verisimilitude gone awry.WHEN BUTTERFLY WINGS ARE HEARD

Nothing could prepare her. Her body and mind had now separated to such a degree that language and sensation made no sense.

Let’s go.

 

Coitus Arrestus 11.11.16 09.00

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She Did it Her Way on the Highway

morning she felt verThaty cold, in fact she felt cold for quite awhile. She had a protruding vein on her left foot and another in the pit of her left arm. She also had that constant cough caw,caw, caw, and a swollen right ankle.

When you don’t know you can’t know, that’s the problem with the body mind myocardial infarction my wayconnection.

The body says you’re in trouble the mind says get over yourself. The body says can’t you see the signs listen to me, the mind says so you’ve a cough take a disprin. Veins: its blood supply. Your cold put on a lair of clothes. Attention seeker.

Standing at the front door ready to go, then STOP.

When the unexpected pump in the chest suddenly starts you think panic attack. You think anxiety. You think stress. You think pressure.

Run! Run! Run it off. And you do.rUUUUUUUUUn…RuuuuuuNNNNN

Like the wind you try to escape this nauseating compression and extraction of heart hula hoops.

Your mind courses through all the days beginnings and where you have to be and what you have to do. Meanwhile the heart like a rampaging lunatic is beating so fast that it demands attention.

Stop!! ‘Would you please go away’ the mind says. I’m more powerful than the body. Think it you will achieve it. Isn’t that what they say? If you will it, it will happen. Be positive.

The power of positive thinking.

Come on.

Well that’s not working. WHAT NOW………

Driving to the first port of call you see a GP’s centre in Glanmire.

You stop and ask for help.

‘help me’

‘Look we are fully booked’

‘please help me my back is killing me, [lease’

‘well go to AnE’, she says with impaaience.

‘Look wait outside I’ll see if I can get a doctor’,

‘Ok Thanks’

You lean against their cream artexed wall. So cooling the wind in her face. The heat so hot.

The mind this time seems to be catching up with the power of the body;

DO not sit down, do not slither down outside this centre or that’s it. It would feel good, don’t.

The noumenal moment is extinguished, reality has arrived.

You re-enter the GP’s

‘sorry we can’t see you’ she says in that proper fuck off voice.

The mind pipes up. How? Why? What is going on to herself?

You are in trouble.

Huh??

She needs help.

Near to collapse all this drama in your chest wants centre stage; the spotlight beams brighter, you feel faint, sweating you glide into your car. You leave.

Your back is in agony now.

Please stop. The surprise of it all, the wish it would just go away made no difference.

Arrest is an accurate term as you are under arrest, imprisoned nailed and restrained.

Still flight or fight is inbuilt.

Your brain is ready to cave in, ok body you win I’ll take it from here says the mind.

Go to your own Dr.

Reverse. Turn right or left? Go RIGHT, go right the mind said.

Down the dual carriageway easy- calm- thought restricted- head pounding- you do what you are told body says the mind.

The body want you to stop driving.

Do not stop or you are dead.

Feeling faint the chest now batters and runs wild BOOM, BOOM,  BOOM n BANG BANG BOOM:

 

under siege the body wants to stop and lie down on the road, this time the strong mind says ‘Do no such thing’ your dead if you do.

Dead? Where did that come from? Who’s dying?

You……….

Foreplay with Death kicks FATE into action. FUCK me 28.09.2016 14.20

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Foreplay with Death kicks FATE drama into action. fuck me 28.09.2016 14.20

Why would you expect a big monster white jeep to push you through the air on a bright sunny day, well you wouldn’t would you, but it did.

‘Oh I am so sorry, I was listening to Joe Duffy and that poor man Foreplay with Death kicks later drama into action. FUCK me 28.09.2016 14.20and I didn’t see you’!  says the 85 year old white haired fresh and fit granny who exited her jeep quicker than a jackrabbit as she appeared in front of me.

Sure why would ‘YOU ‘matter to HER, your’re just another road user, stopped, indicators on getting ready to turn right.  The car is so small sure you’d hardly see it anyway. Monster trucks rule.

Get out of my way, I’m bigger than you.

It must be your fault for being there.

That’s it wrong place.

Oh God please don’t call the guards, please don’t go through the insurance, please I’ll pay for it.

Oh dear God my husband has cancer. He’s very ill with stomach cancer. I’ll be put off the road. I know a mechanic who will fix it. Please don’t call the guards oh this is awful. I’ll pay.

Meanwhile you are stumbling out of the car and fall to your knees.

I’m sorry I didn’t see you.

Are you ok? Who knows it was never asked. She like most humans are self interested and self serving: it’s the nature of the beast.

Only human after all.

A sentient being with all the anthropocentric self centredness to fill the earth.

She walks around to the front of the car, she is 85, 85 and rearing to go even do a runner if she got the chance. The car which is now veering towards the footpath, the bumper and lights, wires and glass on the ground-everything is hanging out like a gutted carp.

You can’t think straight,  feeling sick and light headed. You were calling to a doctor with the protruding vein on your right foot and arm and the constant cough.

Oh Christ you can’t take this. Leave me alone. Why Fates are you doing this!!

Tiredness fell around you, she said  look give me your number and I’ll get my mechanic to give an estimate and ring you ok.

Would you go to my mechanic? Please! He lives in Crosshaven he’s great he’ll do a good job.

Noooooo please would you just give me your number. My head is pounding now.

Why don’t you just kill me fate why keep me hanging in with this constant car crash life.

You call the AA.

That’s some bang you got there girl he says when he arrives 20 minutes later.

Mmm. I feel sick. Will you take me to my mechanic?

Did you get her insurance details and name?

‘No I can’t be bothered,’ you say ‘I’m too tired she’ll pay to have it fixed she gave me her mobile’.

Jesus girl you can’t be serious put in a claim you’d get 10 grand at least, she’s ruined the car and you, look at you- you’re really….if you don’t mind me saying looking very pale and you’re shivering.

‘Look please she’s a very old woman and I haven’t the energy for any of it, can we just go to my mechanics place and get a quote to fix her,’ she said

‘Suit yourself but you know yourself no good deed’ he said and drove off with me in the passenger seat and him still talking about you should have got her insurance, look at the car it’s destroyed.

She didn’t want to defend herself she just wanted to sleep.FOREVER

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